Episode 6: I can do anything for 12hours.....anything.

I love my job. I love my job. I love my job.

 What you see there is a statement of fact. I DO love my job. But, what you are also seeing is a, sort of, mantra, that you will see many of my co-workers muttering over and over to themselves  on a daily basis. To the average patient, family member, or visitor, we just look crazy. They offer us food scraps, water, and their spare coins, but we refuse. We have to keep repeating these words while staring at the spot just in front of us, until we get into the med-room, where we can burst open with profanities that would shame a sailor. Yes, we pediatric RNs are potty mouths....and inappropriate at times in so many ways...but my God, we are a fun group of people! We might spontaniously laugh, dance, and/or sing at any moment...watch out, we'll come atcha like a spider monkey on stolen booze!!!

 So, when we are repeating the "I love my job" mantra, which is often followed closely by the "I can do anything for 12hrs" mantra, it can be for many reasons. Sometimes, it is in dealing with the Darling MDs. I, mean, they are so cute sometimes.

"I know you just sent of the labs that it took you 8 tries to get, but could you draw another set? We forgot to add on the ANCA and we need a Vanco level. Thats not a problem, right?" No! Of  course not! I love my job!
Or,
"I just switched the feeds rate back to 30/hr, advance 1.22 cc every 5.5 minutes, until you reach a goal of 92.456/hr. If they throw up, put it on hold for 3 seconds. Yup that oughta do it! Thanks!" Sure! I can do ANYTHING for 12 hrs!!!

  A constant source of joy. The truth is, all jokes aside, I know that I have met some amazing MDs on my unit. They put up with me on many different levels, and I appreciate that.

I have to be careful about discussing some of the other parts of my job that make me chant our mantras, but let me make a few things clear:

1. No, you may NOT have a private room. IF you want one so bad, we will have one ready for you in 2015 when our new hospital opens. Can I get you a pitcher of water?
2. I will happily get you everything you need, if you could just cluster the items a bit, it would be helpful, though there is a huge exercise benefit in running all over my unit.
3. I wash my hands, and/or alcohol my hands, approximately 896 times a day. My manicures never stay pretty.
4. I think the kiddos are cute...until they start hitting, kicking, biting, and screaming unnecesarily. Then, I give them this death stare that clearly conveys that I am not impressed with their behavior. I often will not do this directly in front of the parents. That way, when their child stops crying, and is now just whimpering (probably in fear), the parent thinks it is because of their consoling efforts. Its important that the parents think they are helping. I am happy to let them.
5. I know we went through the discharge paperwork with you at 1045am, so why is your ride coming at 815pm? We have a discharge lounge. Let me introduce you.
6. Yes, I know your med is due at 9am. But, did you know I have 1hr on each side to give it and it is still considered on time???
7. On any given day, I have approximately 8 admits on my list in the morning. By noon, its 12, and by 6pm, it is at 18. Our unit only holds 36 patients, and I don't have 15-18 discharges, so do you think that family will mind being set up in the public restroom? It is the only room we have available.

All of the above (and so much more) aside. My patient's parents are helpful, my patients make me laugh, and nothing is better than working your butt off and hearing a simple "Thank you." It means the world to us.

Today, I played the role of "Flex RN." This position is also, lovingly, referred to as "Floor Biotch." I, actually, love this role, because I get to get my hands in everyone else's business. I get to make my coworkers do things for me if they want my help. No, I'm kidding. Plus, you kinda feel like a superhero, sometimes. Today, I was so driven by the addrenalin of leaving for my trip to Costa Rica on Wed Night, that there was very little that could get me down.

I have finally been on the Pediatric floor long enough to watch some of my patients "grow up." What an amazing experience. It is astounding to watch them morph. I feel so honored to do what I do, and to have developed some of the amazing connections that I have with some of the patients and their families.

SO, yes, I love my job.